Harry Kane ‘outlines hope for new career move’, the dignity of Jose Mourinho, and Klopp’s Dream Liverpool XI

The solution to the Harry Kane Situation is obvious – he’s going to go and play NFL…

Andy Dunn’s column in this morning’s is about . He’s of the view that if Manchester United do stump up £100m for a striker with a year left on his contract then Spurs should accept it and move on.

We disagree, but it’s a fair enough view. It’s an awful lot of money even if Spurs would probably just spaff it away on a load of nonsense and an Erik Lamela again.

But we’re not quite sure about the strength of Dunn’s argument that “football history is littered with teams losing key players but going on to better things.” Seems a stretch, that. The persuasive case for taking the money now isn’t really that Spurs might magically get better without their best player, it’s that they’ll only find themselves in precisely the same situation a year down the line but this time £100m worse off.

Because if football history really were “littered with teams losing key players but going on to better things” then we would suggest Dunn himself might be able to come up with an example that doesn’t involve going all the way back to 1977 and Kenny Dalglish making all Liverpool’s Kevin Keegan pain go away.

That’s not the best bit of Harry Kane content from the , though, who approach perfection with this headline: “Harry Kane outlines hope for new career move as Man Utd make transfer push”

So what’s the new career move Kane has outlined his hope for? Is it “Going to Manchester United” or anything even remotely along those lines? Ha ha, you already know the answer there.

“Harry Kane has revealed that he’d ‘love’ to play in the NFL once his footballing career is over.”

Absolutely sensational work. And you already know how many mentions Kane made of Manchester United in his appearance on Good Morning America where he discussed his NFL ambitions.

Also, and it’s not the main point here by any means, can you really “reveal” something in 2023 that you first said out loud in public in 2020? “I’m looking at the option of playing in the NFL one day. That would be a bucket list, a dream come true,” Kane said back then.

Interesting. What could it be? News of a concrete breakthrough in transfer negotiations between Chelsea and Manchester United? Some quotes from literally anyone halfway involved at all? Or a couple of emoji on Instagram from Thiago Silva?

It’s the last one, obviously.

Mediawatch doesn’t like nitpicking (ha!) but we do have to make one minor correction to this headline:

“Furious Tottenham fans launch campaign to stop Ange Postecoglou becoming Spurs’ next coach: ‘We can’t have this guy managing us’”

The actual phrase they’re looking for is “Furious Tottenham fan launches campaign…” Easy mistake, but their own story even acknowledges this awkward fact in a backhanded way with the mischievous line “a section of fed up supporters in North London – led by one in particular…”

Lovely bit of business from the with this headline “Man Utd ‘halve price tag’ for transfer listed star Erik ten Hag started in his first win”

Obviously, this requires a quick game of guess the player and obviously it’s not going to be Harry Maguire or suchlike because we wouldn’t be here if it was.

But if your first guess was Anthony Elanga, a man who has played less than an hour of Premier League football since November, then you are a genius or a liar. Also good that this headline could just as accurately read “Man Utd ‘halve price tag’ for transfer listed star Erik ten Hag hauled off at half-time in his first win”

Roma boss Jose Mourinho after the Europa League final: “We lost a game, but not dignity.”

Also Roma boss Jose Mourinho after the Europa League final:

Jose Mourinho to Anthony Taylor after the game last night: “You’re a f**king disgrace!!!”

🎥@tvdellosportpic.twitter.com/SJx7WWqAsA

— Football Talk (@FootballTalkHQ) June 1, 2023

Mediawatch always enjoys a “How Team X could line up” caper, but what we usually like about them is how absurdly teenager-playing-Football-Manager optimistic they are. The have come up with “Jurgen Klopp’s dream Liverpool XI with four new signings on first day of next season” and managed to make it… underwhelming?

It does contain three brand new central midfielders – Alexis Mac Allister, Khephren Thuram and Ryan Gravenbirch – alongside the admission that “it remains to be seen if Liverpool would actually press ahead with plans to sign three central midfielders”. Which already doesn’t quite make this sound like a “Dream XI”. And while Benjamin Pavard is clearly a capable and versatile player who Liverpool may well be happy to sign, we’re not sure he starts at centre-back in any ideal Liverpool XI Jurgen Klopp might concoct in his sleep.